Why was I so upset? It's a long story and it isn't something to share here, but this, and something that my friend said reminded me of another incident that took place when I was only 11. In our conversation, Gracia suggested that if I wanted, I could write something that the majority of people would want to read, something less obscured, perhaps, if building up readership was my priority. I was thinking along the lines of romance, a genre I have not explored in a long time now. And this was how I remembered an email I had received.
For about three years from the time I was 10, my head was always buzzing with ideas for stories. I spent a lot of time working on different pieces of work simultaneously (these things never happened again by the time I entered high school because education stifles my creativity, and steals my free time, as always). I penned a complete novel and then wrote to a local children's writer, asking him what I had to do if I wanted to publish my work. He told me to send my work to his publisher, which was of no help, really, because the publisher's email was already on their company's website. (Was I thinking of pulling strings?)
So I set to work. I painstakingly typed out my novel on the computer, sealed the manuscript in a brown envelope and dropped it in the postbox, feeling extremely satisfied with myself. Look— I was only 11, I had completed my very own novel in a few months, and I had sent my work to a publisher without doubting my abilities (I do that very often now, unfortunately). A couple of weeks later, I received that email I was looking forward to. These were the words I saw:
"Your work is not commercially successful."
And that was all. YOUR WORK IS NOT COMMERCIALLY SUCCESSFUL. I was rejected. Just like that. (It felt strange to me that an adult was telling a child that her work wasn't commercial enough.) But I am thankful my work was rejected:
1) If my work had been accepted, I would have continued walking down that... shall I say, commercialised path and I believe I wouldn't be true to myself at all.
2) Why, why, WHY should I write in a certain style, or write in a particular genre just because it is popular? Writing is my passion, not my money-making machine.
3) I looked at this from a different angle and at least the publisher didn't say, "You cannot write."
4) We all learn and grow and learn, and change— I would be utterly embarrassed if I am to read what I had written about a decade ago.
To conclude, I think it is sad that when our dreams seem unattainable, we tend to forget who we are and lose ourselves in order to achieve those dreams. It isn't easy staying true to yourself when you are faced with norms and societal pressures, but I believe I will never give in and alter the way I write, or change what I love to write about, just to be accepted by most people.
Oh.... wow, not commercially successful? Who are they to tell you that in the first place? I'm happy you didn't let that comment discourage you to write more.
ReplyDeleteIt was very brave of you to do that when you were 11. And I hate the fact that they told an 11 year-old those words: "...not commercially successful." But yay for you because you didn't lose heart over it. "If my work had been accepted, I would have continued walking down that... shall I say, commercialised path and I believe I wouldn't be true to myself at all." I completely agree with what you said. So in the end, things worked out for the best for you :)
ReplyDeleteI think you should be proud of yourself despite the rejection. But that really hurt, "...not commercially successful?" Have they forgotten the ELEVEN-year-old that they're talking to? I mean, try to be soft to the kid. It's rare having kids write their own novels and being bold to publish them. They shouldn't did that.
ReplyDeleteIt was good for you to keep going. It's not the end of the world yet. The road is long, you may end up at another door where another road awaits you.
This is something faced by all in the "creative" field. You want to write/design/sing for your passion (ugh, that word) but what if your audience doesn't like it? In the world we live in money and audience are all that seem to matter. It's rather sad considering what people enjoy. -/_\-
ReplyDeleteMany times this semester I too have gotten really angry over class discussions, or arguments shall I say, about my assignments. I wasn't communicating to my audience, so all the hours I spent on something was just disregarded.
It's a good thing you can still be strong about what you want without thinking of what people accept, but I have noticed myself giving in many times. And they were just for the sake of completing assignments.
Well, all of us can write but it's a bit harsh for someone to say that your work is not commercially successful.. But then, just think of it as a blessing in disguise and i agree that --We all learn and grow and learn, and change.. There's really nothing constant but change
ReplyDeleteAww. When I was very young, I always dream to write a novel. I did, but I guess I never finish it. My topic was about my life, and how I see things as a tweeny. Now I regret not being able to finish that novel. :(
ReplyDeleteI used to dream to become model. That is my dream, then I attended a certain go see and they told me that they rather accept me as a host. Since I'm very articulate enough blah blah blah. Perhaps they just wanted to tell me that I'm not pretty enough or even tall enough.
So yeah I guess you're right. We were rejected, but God has plans. <3 But really, I admire you because at a very young age like that - you were able to achieve and finish a story. Amazing.
"education stifles my creativity, and steals my free time, as always" - THIS. I agree with this. The only time during high school where I wrote lot was in my creative writing class. Essays not included!! xD
ReplyDeleteHonestly, rejection sucks! But just like you, people can actually LEARN from it instead of feeling down all the time about it. I've read about so many authors who share their stories of their own rejection emails and letters, but did they give up? NO! They kept on going until someone amazing out there finally saw their true potential and now these authors have their own published novels and whatnots.
And I completely understand you when you say it's hard to be your true self when societal norms get in the way. But you just have to do it - you just have to WRITE FOR YOURSELF. Writing for other people's own personal pleasure comes second or even not at all! Just write what you want to write.
Also, you doing all that at the tender age of 11 is a huge accomplishment in itself. At that age, I would have never been able to write a full-fledged novel and actually mail it to a publisher, so major kudos to you, Lixin.
I guess I'll end this by saying that many more rejections may lie ahead of you; it's basically a fact because famous authors out there go through thousands of rejections before their novel is recognized for its potential to be big among readers. Be prepared, but just know there will be that one person who WON'T say, "Your work is not commercially successful." Though, you can also self-publish your novels/short stories/as an ebook if that is your kind of thing too - that way, you don't have to worry about rejection.
That's unfortunate for them to turn you down. I mean doing that at 11 is already a big accomplishment. I'm 23 and barely written a few pages for my novel.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you can always publish it on online publishing sites. i would buy your work
I'm glad that you haven't lost faith in your writing and your dreams just because of that lousy comment, and it's also great to hear that you don't intend to sell out and write commercial material just to move copies. You should write about what you are interested in/what you really care about, not what some editor or publisher wants you to write. I'm confident there will be someone else down the line who will share your views, believe in you, and want to publish your work.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! I'm writing and when I tell people, or try to explain to people, about what I'm writing - they just don't get it. They ask, 'oh but I don't think that'll sell...'. I think it's important to be happy with what one's written, rather than following a cookie-cutter formula.
ReplyDeleteI would't alter the way I write for anyone else as well. It's my form of expression and a part of me already. I admire your guts as an 11 year old. I wouldn't have dared. Haha.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be that time when you'll be really pissed off. But sometimes, it's best to move on to the present :)! Then again, I can understand why cats can anger you- seld experiences .__."!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in middle school, I always wrote stories too on my composition notebook! And dumped all of them away when I moved on to high school. You never know what will happen until you try it out. Rejection in life is bound to happen, otherwise, your life would be boring. Getting rejected is to push you to try harder next time!
For an adult to tell you that your work is not commercially successful is the nicest way to word that phrase. I'm glad you grew and learned from this, and hey! Perhaps one day, you'll be that author you always wanted to be, famous for your passion. Not the money.
We haven't thought about writing on each other's shirts! At the very most, we just write on paper, etc. But I understand you when there's them bitches who are full of themselves.. I've had that happened, but oh well :-)!
Apparently, I am the one to gossip. I don't know how, but I guess I'm that socialable :P
Take care :D
Wow, reading this brought a lot of emotions back to me. My story is not really the same, but when I was 14 years old my English teacher told me that my mature tyle of writing was shocking for my age and that it would be the reason I'd never make it in life. There is more to the story, but she made it seem as if writing would be the reason I'd fail and achieve nothing. Needless to say, after about two years of believing her, I decided to prove her wrong... and I have, in ways she'd never have had imagined.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I've had many editors and writers say my work is not a certain way or right... most times I will consider their criticism but normally I shrug it off.
Also remember, many great authors today were rejected numerous times - it's really about persistence, determination and believing 100% in your work :)
Ugh, I'm curious as to what publisher you sent your story to?? That's an awful way to reject someone, seriously. Not commercial enough? If anything, that's more of a compliment really. Don't lose faith -- that publisher clearly wasn't good enough for you. <3
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent post!
ReplyDeleteI believe writing is a form of art and artist are not here to entertain others. Artists are here to do what they have to do.
It's a shame that artist sometimes have to compromise or can't be true to themselves in order to earn their salary. And some art just isn't understood.
I used to write all the time, too, and whenever someone read it or I told them about it, they just say, "Oh, that's nice." No one other than myself ever cared about my writing because it didn't seem to be interesting enough for them. I don't write as an art anymore, but I don't think my style of writing has changed during those years when I was still inspired to do so.
ReplyDeleteWriting is like visual art: It can be anything. It can have a different style, meaning, and outlook and still be amazing and crafty. I've seen countless works of unknown artists that are completely outstanding, but they're not deemed successful because their style is "unconventional."